1. Did you tell me on our first date that you weren't sure if you were interested in having a relationship. With anyone? Ever?

2. Do you have a weirdly enmeshed relationship with your ex wife, ex girlfriend, closest female friend, etc?

3. Do you suffer from an accute case of busy, ie: school, soccer, kids, work, excessive activity, "I'll pencil you in the week of the 14th between 9pm and midnight"?

4. Do you practice extreme non-attachment, want to destroy your ego and any kind of committment, responsibility to others or intimacy in the process?

5. Do you have excessive unmanaged debt or housing problems (ie: you just want to stay at my house for a FEW weeks)?

6. Do you dislike children or are you uninterested in sharing a life with a child (single Mom's absolute bottom line)?


It may take a few dates to figure these ones out, but I can honestly say that I am going to keep close track and these are the red flags I am going to be looking for. No guarantees, but at least I won't be in the same relationship I have been in over and over.

Thanks for this one!

besides your questions (both of you) which are excellent!

1- how much do you drink? do you do any street drugs?

2- Why are you rushing me for sex?

3- If I call the phone number you gave me will you answer instead of a fax machine? Can I contact you anywhere besides the web?

4- do we have *anything* in common outside of being horny?

5- will you still bathe/brush your teeth daily a month from now?

6- do you read?

7- Will you talk out disagreements instead of disappearing for a week?

8- Do you have any friends other than me? Can I meet them?

9- What percentage of your income do you spend on porn?

10- Will you pay for your own way on a date? Will you "allow" me to?

I'm right there with you, my ex is a resounding yes to all those questions. I am over fixer upper's, it just isn't worth it.