Hi,
I just wanted to pop in here and contribute what I could...
Your stories sound so familiar... But I'm out - gone.
What I realized was my guy was a narcissist - something worth looking up and checking out. It seems like some sort of pop psych category until you learn about it in depth. Yeah, you might *react* to what they do, but *they're* the ones choosing to push your anxiety buttons. Your trick is to go ahead and acknowledge the emotion (such as fear or humiliation) but keep functioning cooly. Just imagine you're an actor, with stagefright, and you have to go onstage anyway, and you pull it off to a standing ovation. :)
I have a couple of links in my profile that might help (not a business, just 2 links I like.) The first is about recruiting your own unconscious self, the other is about fanning your own flames.
Unbalanced people can be exciting, but it really is better to find or create better forms of Wow. Despite their intentions, people out-of-balance usually leave a lot of collateral damage in their wake.
PS - part of the continued draw to someone you know is bad for you may be some combo of oxytocin levels and hypnotic game-playing (whether intentional or not.) I suggest reading up on hypnosis, NLP, and bad-boy dating techniques (yes, there are guys out there who teach dudes how to be A**h*les.)
There are cool people out there - no sense in wasting time with the bad onez...
P'z
I just wanted to pop in here and contribute what I could...
Your stories sound so familiar... But I'm out - gone.
What I realized was my guy was a narcissist - something worth looking up and checking out. It seems like some sort of pop psych category until you learn about it in depth. Yeah, you might *react* to what they do, but *they're* the ones choosing to push your anxiety buttons. Your trick is to go ahead and acknowledge the emotion (such as fear or humiliation) but keep functioning cooly. Just imagine you're an actor, with stagefright, and you have to go onstage anyway, and you pull it off to a standing ovation. :)
I have a couple of links in my profile that might help (not a business, just 2 links I like.) The first is about recruiting your own unconscious self, the other is about fanning your own flames.
Unbalanced people can be exciting, but it really is better to find or create better forms of Wow. Despite their intentions, people out-of-balance usually leave a lot of collateral damage in their wake.
PS - part of the continued draw to someone you know is bad for you may be some combo of oxytocin levels and hypnotic game-playing (whether intentional or not.) I suggest reading up on hypnosis, NLP, and bad-boy dating techniques (yes, there are guys out there who teach dudes how to be A**h*les.)
There are cool people out there - no sense in wasting time with the bad onez...
P'z
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